Unless a couple prays together and sincerely seeks God's will in His Word, their marriage begins on a weak foundation.
If the husband makes Christ's love for the church the pattern for loving his wife, then he will love her sacrificially (Eph. 5:25).
The love of the husband for his wife ought to be cleansing her (and him) so that both are becoming more like Christ.
The husband's love for his wife should be sacrificial and sanctifying, but it should also be satisfying (Eph. 5:28 - 30).
The root of most marital problems is sin, and the root of all sin is selfishness. Submission to Christ and to one another is the only way to overcome selfishness, for when we submit, the Holy Spirit can fill us and enable us to love one another in a sacrificial, sanctifying, and satisfying way -- the way Christ loves the church.
It is God's will that the marriage union be permanent, a lifetime commitment. There is no place in Christian marriage for a "trial marriage," nor is there any room for the "escape hatch" attitude: "If the marriage doesn't work, we can always get a divorce."
For this reason, marriage must be built on something sturdier than good looks, money, romantic excitement, and social acceptance. There must be Christian commitment, character, and maturity. There must be a willingness to grow, to learn from each other, to forgive and forget, to minister to one another. The kind of love Paul described in
1 Corinthians 13 is what is needed to cement two lives together.
By going back to the original Edenic Law, Jesus reminded His listeners of the true characteristics of marriage. If we remember these characteristics, we will better know how to build a happy and enduring marriage.
It Is A Divinely Appointed Union.
God established marriage, and therefore only God can control its character and laws. No court of law can change what God has established.
It Is A Physical Union.
The man and woman become
"one flesh." While it is important that a husband and wife be of one mind and heart, the basic union in marriage is physical. If a man and woman became "one spirit" in marriage, then death would not dissolve the marriage; for the spirit never dies. Even if a man and woman disagree, are "incompatible," and cannot get along, they are still married, for the union is a physical one.
It Is A Permanent Union.
God's original design was that one man and one woman spend one life together. God's original Law knows nothing of
"trial marriages." God's Law requires that the husband and wife enter into marriage without reservations.
It Is A Union Between
One Man And One Woman.
God did not create two men and one woman, two women and one man, two men, or two women.
"Group marriages," "gay marriages," and other variations are contrary to the will of God, no matter what some psychologist and jurists may say.
It's a wonderful thing when the covenant community sincerely rejoices with the bride and groom because what they are doing is in the will of God. In my pastoral ministry, I've participated in a few weddings that were anything but joyful. We felt like grieving instead of celebrating. The popular entertainer George Jessel defined marriage as
"a mistake every man should make," but the last place you want to make a mistake is at the marriage alter. Contrary to what some people believe, marriage is not "a private affair." This sacred union includes God and God's people, and every bride and groom should want the blessing of God and God's people on their marriage.
Warren W. Wiersbe
